And after the long layover....

Wazzup peeps...Ive been gone for a minute but I'm back, with a whole bunch of stuff on my mind. The biggest thing is just theres been so much conflict between me and my mother lately like I feel as if Im such a big dissapointment to her and everytime I ask her for some help or anything it gets thrown back in my face and results in an arguement. Ive felt like shes wanted me out for a while now and taken out her feelings for my father unto me. It really sucks having that put on me like that. Sometimes I dont know what to do....I mean like today I lowkey spazzed on my gf because I thought something was wrong with her because of the texts she was sending me, thats just bad. I have so many feelings about the situation with my mother and I talk to people about it but that sad and hurt feeling just doesnt go away and idk if it ever will. I honestly think sometimes that she doesnt love me and just wants one less burden out of her life so she doesnt have to care for me anymore. That sounds bad but its perfectly reasonable to me and thats even sadder. I hold alot of my feelings towards her inside and I know its not good but when I talk about it I cant help but feel sadder and sadder and feel like Im bringing them down. My gf is amazing I mean she listens to me when I do talk about it and stuff but I feel bad because I wanna be the perfect guy for her and not bring all this baggage of my life onto her....its not fair. Idk its such a complex thing that I have to contemplate on it....thanks for listening/reading my thoughts on things lol....

Oh and ill be on this more often

Chris Brown Aplogizes

The video speaks for itself. I was suprised he actually came out with this because many celebs wont even bother and keep us all wondering and raising spectulations. He seemed nervous but honest with his words and ready to move on with his life and you have to respect that whosever side you are on. Im still a fan of his and I'm sure he wont lose many fans because of this other celebs have done alot worse......

The lady in my life

Mmmm where do I start?? We met and didnt expect anything out of it.....we thought we were going to be cool...friends at the most....but God didnt have that in his plans. From the moment we started talking and getting to know each other and the really really long talk we had after our first date I knew I had fallen hard for this very special lady. She is the most amazing person I have ever met....and thats saying alot because I have met alot of people and she is really the most incredible all around person ever. There arent enough words to really say how deeply I care about her and all of this in such a short amount of time. She inspires me to just be a better person and makes me feel as if I could do anything in this world, and if you really care about someone or love anyone thats what that person should do to you. They should inspire you to reach beyond the stars and do whatever your passion is and be right behind you 100%....and thats what shes done for me....I really feel like I dont deserve a person so beautiful on the inside as well as the out and I am so blessed that God crossed my path with an angels'. She is someone who I can rely on, talk to, hug when I need one.....or just love. Love is a very big thing and that is a very sensitive subject to talk about.....but if you have someone that does all those things that I was saying do I really have to?? Actions always speak louder than words...I mean I'm all about the little things....the constant texts saying I miss you, or I cant stop thinking about you, out of the blue that person, or you if youre sending them, are in love. A wise person told me that you have to go to the rock bottom to really realize what you need in your life to make it better. Ive been at that rock bottom.....a majority of people have and I know I need her, along with my faith, family and closest friends, to make my life better. This is what Ive been looking for, this is what people should look for when looking for love. Now I really know that this is what its supposed to feel like, this is what all of those songs are about, this is what inspired all of those romance novels, this is that fuzzy feeling is that people get when reading those poems. This is what being in love is.......

What Happened to real house parties??

House parties are not the same as they used to be....or at least portrayed on TV or movies. I mean I remember watching House Party for the first time and really looking forward to going to high school and wanting to expierence dancing and maybe having some sort of romance with a girl. Now house parties are people going to other peoples houses and standing around drinking and thats it....waiting for someone to start some drama and have it get shut down by the cops. What happened to djs spinning at every party.....what happened to dancing all night until you were sooo tired that you couldnt even take your shoes off to go to sleep that night?? Thats what I really want to see accomplished because people have really lost sight of what a party really is...A party should involve music, dancing and everyone just having a good time.....lets just get back to that please...

What's Up With That??

I've always had the burning question in my mind.....Whats up with women and the new trend of completely HUGE purses?? I mean whats the reason for them. I was talking to a close friend of mine who is a woman (Anna), and she says the reason is that women have alot of things to put in there. I mean yea I understand that because women do carry lots of stuff but I mean if thats the case you mind as well just get a little sports bag from Footlocker or something thats 10 dollars compared to spending over 100 bucks for something to just hold your things. I mean wouldnt that just make thieves wanna take things from you?? I mean even though you dont have a lot of money there is still motivation to get mugged or worse because of your highly expensive bag that they can still pawn and still get a good piece of change for it. Well I truly hope that this is just a trend and women go back down to the medium sized purses for their safety and just because its really useless to have a super large bag like that.....meditate on that one!!!!

Throwback Joint

Kanye West-Diamonds From Sierra Leone-Late Registration

R & Drizzy

Drake brings the fire again on this one. His newest mixtape, Heartbreak Drake Part 2 The R & Drizzy Edition, brings a preview of his highly anticipated debut album due out later this year. There are indeed some older tracks that are his most popular on this mixtape, but he has new material that shows what is to come on his album. I for one am a big Drake fan. He is very versitile with his wordplay and ability to sing/harmonize with his tracks, he really makes his songs his own and will make a big splash in the hip-hop industry. I just hope that he doesn't stray away from his individuality in making his first album because the label heads are pressuring him to do something he doesn't want to. That what makes Drake who he is in my eyes...he is very creative and doesnt use conventional hip hop beats to background his incredible lyrical ability. Anyways, this is definetly a download-worthy mixtape.....won't be as big as So Far Gone, but really builds up more and more anticipation for his freshman album, Thank Me Later, due later this year.

http://depositfiles.com/files/qlz1gob3q